Category: Behind the scenes

BEHIND THE SCENES

Alex

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BEHIND THE SCENES

Master Ricardo

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BEHIND THE SCENES

Confession

Finally

I initially conceived of this book as a diary. Before writing other parts, I wrote most of her diary chapters. Yet it took 29.632 words to get to the diary part of her story.

But First

First, we have to deal with the cage under the bed. Sylvia is confused. She doesn’t understand why she gets excited in her cage, where she can only hear her partners are making love.

spoiler alert

We transition into a phase where Sylvia comes to accept that both lovers love her. But she cannot. The past is weighing heavily on her. First there are confessions to to be made.

The function of confession

Confessing can be really good for the soul because it helps you let go of heavy feelings. Think of it like cleaning out a cluttered room in your mind. When you admit your mistakes or share your hidden feelings, you often feel a huge weight lift off your shoulders. This can lead to:

• Emotional Relief: Just like talking to a friend about something that’s been bothering you, confessing can help you release feelings of guilt or shame.
• Healing and Growth: By acknowledging what went wrong, you open the door to forgiving yourself and learning from the experience, which can help you grow as a person.
• Better Relationships: Being honest about your actions can also help repair trust with others, strengthening your relationships and becoming more genuine.
• Inner Peace: Ultimately, confessing can bring you a sense of relief and inner peace, as you no longer have to carry the burden of your secrets.

In simple terms, when you confess, you’re taking a step toward healing, making it easier to move forward with a lighter heart and a clearer mind. And that is why Koen “forces” Sylvia to read her diary out loud.

On the stories online site, I had to make do with showing she was reading from her diary by using a bold font. On Krabbels she is writing in her own handwriting (Google Fonts Borel). I am very happy with it. This is Sylvia’s handwriting.

Coming out

Coming out is one of the most terrifying experiences in your young life. You risk losing the acceptance and support of those closest to you, which can feel like a deep personal loss. It forces you to face the possibility of discrimination or rejection from society, leaving you vulnerable to judgment and isolation. Additionally, it means confronting your own fears and insecurities about who you are, which can be an emotionally overwhelming experience.

I wrote this later because I want the reader to understand how deeply rooted Koen’s anxieties are.

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BEHIND THE SCENES

Young and Stupid

This is a real confession

Not much to add to the text, really. She goes on holiday with one goal and one goal only. And claims still to love Koen. To make it worse, she thinks she is helping him with losing her virginity to a strange man.

Selfish reasons

Her reasons are not to help Koen getting over his anxiety to tear her maidenhead. She wants to know if her submissive feelings are real with another man. She wants to know if this is just Koen, or that she can come by being humiliated by any man.

Despite the seemingly lighthearted tone of her younger diary entries, we learn that the experiences she recorded have actually weighed heavily upon her ever since.

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BEHIND THE SCENES

The Lumious Altar

I have no idea what the term is within the community for a walk over burning candles. I have seen it once or twice in porn, but never got a name for it. So I made up one. The Lumious Altar. Jutta tries to sell it to Koen that is nothing much to extinguish the flame with your vagina or your breast. I think she knows these bandages are there for a reason on Sylvia’s body.

Until now, you have seen not so much punishment on Sylvia, but fairly strict enforcement of rules on Jutta.

Maybe he’s stricter with Jutta because she is now more important to him?

Jutta feels that if their complex relationship is to succeed, Koen has not only to understand, but to support his ex-wife’s behaviour. A free rein is not only a practical necessity; she cannot be the mistress of this masochist without it. It’s more. If she can understand the wants and needs of Sylvia, so does Koen. And if he can’t, she will learn him.

Even if she has to challenge him to do so, at her own expense.

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BEHIND THE SCENES

Going home and see the kids

I really like how this chapter turned out

Going home and find your house, well, not what you expected or hoped to see. That is what Koen and Sylvia felt when they returned to their farmhouse. But it was all new for Jutta and a metaphor for new beginnings. I think the book first mentions the age difference. And working all day with little rest will show the results of that difference, I can assure you.

Natascha

Natascha is not a bitch. She is a she-wolf.

love it.

She has over a hundred allergies; I think. I am one of them.

I still have to chuckle about it

Sandor

The long-lost son is coming back. The tough navvy officer, with his carefree attitude and commanding presence, changes the atmosphere instantly. He is concerned about the health of his mother, but after she has confirmed all this is consensual, he is at ease with it. Besides:

” Even before our puberty, Peter and I knew our parents were into rough sex. You were quite conspicuous about it, you know?”

Natasha and Peter

Natasha and Peter respond to the BDSM-revelation in the way that many readers on the platform stories online do. On one hand, they are curious enough to open the book (and probably read it as well), on the other hand they feel guilty about that and down vote the appreciation score with ‘ a. You call this a story‘. And unlike many authors on the platform are bothered by this, I kind of shrug about it. I don’t blame them. Is this is not your thing, it is very hard to understand. And if your dick gets hard reading, well, it makes it even more confusing in your head.

Some chapters take days, even weeks to write. This one wrote itself in an hour. Perhaps an hour and a half…

BEHIND THE SCENES

Chapter 5

This chapter is all about the function of a safeword within their relationship. Whether it is the Master who is using the safeword to set boundaries for himself, or it’s about the use of the safeword to separate consent and abuse. On this page, I explain the significance of the safeword for all of you who are not familiar with the do’s and don’ts about the use of them in the community.

A safeword is a crucial tool in power exchange dynamics, particularly within BDSM and other consensual authority-based relationships. It serves as a clear, unambiguous signal that overrides any ongoing scene, dynamic, or activity, ensuring the safety and well-being of all parties involved.

Significance of a Safeword in Power Exchange

1. Consent & Control
   • While power exchange often involves one partner assuming a dominant role and the other a submissive role, consent remains paramount.
   • A safeword allows the submissive partner (or any participant) to instantly revoke consent if they reach a physical or emotional limit.
2. Differentiating Play from Reality
   • Many BDSM scenes involve roleplay, including resistance, begging, or saying “no” as part of the dynamic.
   • A safeword provides a clear and undeniable stop signal that is separate from in-scene dialogue, preventing misunderstandings.
3. Psychological & Emotional Safety
   • Even in well-negotiated scenes, emotions can shift unexpectedly. A safeword gives participants a way to halt activities before discomfort escalates into harm.
   • It fosters trust, as both partners know they can stop at any time without judgment.
4. Physical Safety
   • Power exchange often involves activities that may push physical boundaries (such as bondage, impact play, or sensory deprivation).
   • A safeword ensures that if someone experiences pain beyond their tolerance, medical distress, or unexpected discomfort, they can immediately signal a stop.

Common Safeword Systems

• Unique Words – Many people choose a distinct word (e.g., “Pineapple” or “Red Balloon”) to avoid confusion with in-scene language.
• Traffic Light System (the system Koen is using):
  • Green – “I’m good, keep going.”
  • Yellow – “Slow down, check in, adjust.”
  • Red – “Stop immediately.”
• Non-Verbal Safewords – In cases where a person may be gagged or unable to speak, pre-agreed hand signals or a dropped object (like a ball) serve as non-verbal safewords (as discussed in “Good Girl”).

The Power of a Safeword in Trust-Building

Far from being a weakness, a safeword enhances power exchange by proving that control is not about coercion but about mutual respect and communication. Knowing that a safeword will be honoured deepens trust, allowing participants to explore power dynamics more freely, safely, and responsibly.

And that, my friends, was exactly the problem Koen was having in this chapter. He may have exceeded his limits to prove his point.

BEHIND THE SCENES

Chapter 5

At the start of this chapter, Sylvia’s divorce papers are delivered. Second hand. To realise the impact of this delivery, let’s have a closer look, shall we?

Title: “Boundaries”
A one-act scene in a modern restaurant

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Characters:

• ELENA – A confident, independent woman in her early 30s. She values trust and privacy.
• JASON – Her date, mid-30s, charming but a little entitled, with a tendency to push boundaries.

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(Lights up. A cozy restaurant, softly lit. A half-empty wine glass sits in front of ELENA, who is mid-conversation, laughing slightly. JASON sits across from her, reaching casually for her phone on the table.)

JASON (grinning)
Hey, let’s see what you’ve got in here.

(Before ELENA can react, he picks up her phone and starts flipping through it.)

ELENA (startled)
Jason—wait, what are you doing?

JASON (chuckling, scrolling)
Relax, just checking out your photos. Oh, who’s this guy?

(ELENA’s face shifts from surprise to disbelief. She blinks, processing.)

ELENA
Are you serious right now? Give me my phone.

JASON (teasing)
Why? Got something to hide?

ELENA (voice sharp, controlled)
That’s not the point. That’s my phone. My personal space.

(She reaches for it, but JASON holds it just out of reach, still scrolling.)

JASON (mock-innocent)
Oh, come on, Elena. We’re on a date. What’s the big deal?

(A beat. ELENA exhales, a slow shake of her head. Her expression changes—not just irritation, but something deeper.)

ELENA
The big deal? Jason, I don’t even let my best friend go through my phone. And you just took it—without asking—like it’s yours to inspect.

(JASON hesitates, sensing the shift in her tone.)

JASON
I didn’t think—

ELENA (firm)
No, you didn’t. Do you know how many times I’ve had someone treat my privacy like it’s optional? Like I owe them access just because we’re sitting at the same table?

(Her voice tightens, frustration layered with something personal.)

ELENA
I’ve had exes do this. Question every text, every number. Assume I must be hiding something because I value my own space.

JASON (softer)
Elena, I wasn’t—

ELENA (interrupting)
Yes, you were. And that’s the problem.

(She extends her hand, steady, unyielding. A silent challenge.)

(A pause. JASON looks at her, then at the phone. Slowly, he sets it back on the table.)

JASON (quietly)
I’m sorry.

(ELENA studies him. A long beat. Then she picks up her phone and places it in her bag, out of reach.)

ELENA (calm, but firm)
Yeah. You are.

(A moment of silence. The air between them has shifted. The waiter approaches with the check, oblivious to the tension.)

BLACKOUT.

Sounds familiar? I bet it does. Imagine how it feels when someone is going through your mail, your phone, your post… And hands over your divorce papers!

BEHIND THE SCENES

Chapter 4

I know for a fact that my master thinks some books are better than real life.

Story of O

Histoire d’O, the mother of Fifty Shades, was already mentioned in the Bad Girl’s intro.

John Norman GOR-series

Some followers of the series have adopted Gorean philosophies in their personal lives, leading to a niche but dedicated community that practices hierarchical master-slave relationships inspired by the books. Online forums, chatrooms, and even real-world gatherings have emerged around these ideas. However, the series has also faced criticism from feminists and mainstream BDSM practitioners who argue that its rigid, male-dominated power structures differ from consensual BDSM dynamics.

read one, you have read them all.

So true.

We know Koen loves them. Several times in “Good Girl”, he is referring to these books. Sylvia, however, thinks that they are too rigid and the extensive descriptions of the environment or the situation that can sometimes go on for ten pages are a bit too much of a good thing for her.

Here are six websites that explore themes related to John Norman’s Gor series:

1. Gorean Living: A community forum where enthusiasts discuss Gorean philosophy and lifestyle practices.
   • goreanliving.com
2. The Gorean Cave: A comprehensive resource offering detailed analyses of the Gor books, character studies, and thematic explorations.
   • thegoreancave.com
3. Gor Chronicles: A blog dedicated to reviewing each book in the Gor series, providing summaries and critical insights.
   • gorechronicles.com
4. Gorean Philosophy: An academic approach to the philosophical underpinnings of the Gor series, including discussions on natural order and societal roles.
   • goreanscribe.org
5. The Gorean Voice: A podcast discussing various aspects of Gorean culture, literature, and its impact on modern subcultures.
   • thegoreanvoice on YouTube, video and podcast
6. Gor Gazette: An online newsletter covering news, events, and discussions within the Gorean community.
   • Gazette of Gor

Many of these websites are published a long time ago, and the content is therefore, at best, not recent. Many very good informative websites have been taken offline as well. That’s just the fleeting nature of the Internet.

Kushiel’s Legacy

The Kushiel’s Legacy series by Jacqueline Carey is a historical fantasy saga known for its rich world-building, intricate political intrigue, and themes of love, duty, and power. The series is set in the fictional land of Terre d’Ange, inspired by medieval France, where divine lineage influences society and where love and pleasure are seen as sacred.

The series comprises three trilogies.

1. Phèdre Trilogy (Kushiel’s Dart, Kushiel’s Chosen, Kushiel’s Avatar): Follows Phèdre nó Delaunay, a courtesan and spy marked by the god Kushiel with the ability to find pleasure in pain. She becomes entangled in court politics, betrayal, and war, using her intelligence and resilience to navigate dangerous intrigues.
2. Imriel Trilogy (Kushiel’s Scion, Kushiel’s Justice, Kushiel’s Mercy): Centers on Imriel de la Courcel, Phèdre’s adopted son and the son of a notorious traitor. He struggles with his heritage while forging his own path amid political challenges and personal struggles.
3. Moirin Trilogy (Naamah’s Kiss, Naamah’s Curse, Naamah’s Blessing): Features Moirin, a young woman of mixed D’Angeline and Maghuin Dhonn (Celtic-inspired) heritage. She embarks on a journey of self-discovery that spans different cultures and magical traditions.

The series is notable for its sensual, poetic prose, its mature exploration of sexuality and consent, and its emphasis on personal sacrifice, loyalty, and destiny. Its complex characters, feminist themes, and LGBTQ+ representation have earned it praise.

Miss Carey’s books are very dear to me.

Marque

In Jacqueline Carey’s Kushiel’s Legacy series, a marque is a symbolic and literal tattoo earned by courtesans in the service of Naamah, the angel of love and pleasure. It signifies their status as fully independent professionals within the Night Court, the prestigious guild of courtesans in Terre d’Ange.

The marque is inked gradually over time, paid for by a courtesan’s earnings from their patrons. Once the marque is complete, the courtesan is considered free to choose their own path—whether to retire, continue their profession independently, or pursue another life. The design of the marque is unique to each person, often intricate and beautiful, covering the back from the base of the spine to the nape of the neck.

For Phèdre nó Delaunay, the protagonist of the first trilogy, her marque represents both her journey from a courtesan-in-training to a spy and political player, as well as her personal growth and independence.

Note the red hue over the freshly made tattoo is described in Bad Girl.

Design & Symbolism

The roses represent beauty, passion, and the sensuality associated with her calling as a courtesan of Naamah.

The tattoo is described as a briar rose vine, thorned and elegant, winding its way up Phèdre’s spine from the base to the nape of her neck.

The thorns symbolise her nature as Kushiel’s Chosen, destined to experience both suffering and pleasure in a way that sets her apart from others.

BEHIND THE SCENES

Getting a tattoo

This chapter is very visual and therefore lends itself to a lot of images. It is also a long chapter, almost as long as chapters 1 and 3 combined.

On their way to the tattoo shop

I like the mental picture of the submissive holding the umbrella above her Mistress head, while getting soaked as a result of that. Yes, within a “normal relationship they would have used the umbrella to keep them both partially dry, but not Sylvia. With a grace similar to a halo’s gentle embrace, she positions the umbrella to shelter Jutta from the rain.

Her reaction to the guys hanging out in front of the tattoo shop shows she is used to these situations. She has been a teacher all her life in a high school. You don’t have to tell her how to handle a situation like that.

Alexandra

I bet you did not think she looked like this, huh?

Alexandra, the queen of the needle, is a very appropriate name. The name of the King of the Netherlands is Alexander.

Waiting room

Overcome your fears

The rest of the chapter is about being afraid and not being scared to share that with others.

Is it possible to get a tattoo when you are scared to death of needles? Yes. I have seen it from someone very close to me personally. She was scared to death of needles. They needed a couple of nurses to hold her while she got her injection, and now she has several tats on her body. All of them adding to her self confidence and a symbol of how you can overcome your fears.

To all vanilla readers, the method of Jutta may be over the top. Yet this is the language Sylvia understands and appreciates. Not sure if Jutta feels the same way, though.