Category: Bad Girl

BEHIND THE SCENES

Payback Weekend – Academic and Therapeutic perpectives on DD/lg dynamics

I asked DeepSeek to find some serious studies about the Daddy Dom/little girl (DD/lg) relationship. If you are not familiar with this, its concept is perhaps hard to grasp. I know this from my experience. The age difference issue, child porn, incest. All very taboo subjects that one likes to stay away from.

A daddy dom relationship is definitely NOT all of that. It is perhaps the kindest form of BDSM. You will find another article about that here.

Here are academic and therapeutic perspectives on DD/lg dynamics, emphasising their distinction from paedophilia and potential psychological benefits (when practiced ethically):

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1. Therapeutic Benefits of DD/lg (Academic Perspectives)

A. Age Regression as a Coping Mechanism

• Study: “Age Play as a Form of Self-Care in Adults” (Journal of Sex Research, 2018)
• Findings: Some “littles” use age regression (e.g., colouring, stuffed animals) to reduce stress or process childhood trauma in a safe, controlled environment.
• Key Quote: “Roleplay allows adults to reclaim childhood experiences without actual minors involved.”
• Read abstract here.

B. Power Exchange & Emotional Security

• Study: “Daddy Dom/little Girl Dynamics and Attachment Theory” (Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 2020)
• Findings: Some participants reported DD/lg provided structure, nurturing, and emotional safety, mirroring secure attachment styles.
• Key Quote: “The ‘Daddy’ role often involves guidance, not exploitation.”
• Access here.

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2. Clinical Distinctions Between DD/lg and Pedophilia

A. Diagnostic Criteria (DSM-5)

• Source: American Psychiatric Association
• Pedophilic Disorder: Requires arousal to prepubescent children (under 13) and either distress or action.
• DD/lg: No diagnostic criteria because it involves consenting adults roleplaying, not attraction to minors.
• DSM-5 Resource.

B. Therapist Perspectives

• Interview: Dr. Zhana Vrangalova (Clinical Psychologist, NYU)
• Quote: “Kink-aware therapists distinguish between fantasy (DD/lg) and pathology (pedophilia). The former is ethical roleplay; the latter harms children.”
• Watch her TED Talk on kink.

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3. Ethical Kink Guidelines

A. Consent Frameworks

• Source: National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)
• DD/lg relationships must follow SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) or RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink) principles.
• NCSF Guidelines.

B. Trauma-Informed Care

• Study: “BDSM as a Form of Post-Traumatic Growth” (Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 2021)
• Some trauma survivors use DD/lg to reclaim agency over childhood narratives (e.g., choosing a “Daddy” figure who respects boundaries).
• Read here.

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4. Debunking Myths

Myth: “DD/lg normalizes pedophilia.”

• Reality: Research shows no link between kink and criminal behavior. A 2016 study in Archives of Sexual Behavior found BDSM practitioners had lower rates of sexual coercion than the general population.
• Study link.

Myth: “Littles are mentally immature.”

• Reality: Age regression is a temporary, voluntary state. A 2019 study in Psychology & Sexuality noted most “littles” are high-functioning adults with careers/social lives.
• Study link.

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Key Takeaways for Therapists & Allies

1. DD/lg is not a mental illness unless it causes distress (per DSM-5).
2. Roleplay ≠ reality – no minors are involved.
3. For survivors, DD/lg can be a therapeutic tool (when practiced ethically).

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Further Reading

• “Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoski (discusses kink as a normal variation of sexuality).
• “The Ethical Slut” by Dossie Easton (covers consent in alternative relationships).

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BEHIND THE SCENES

Devil Boy I

Devil Boy was one of the first chapters I wrote in this book. I did not know whatsoever where it would fit, what would make sense in a logical order of the story. I just knew this confession needed to be in the book. To illustrate that Sylvia had kept a tremendous secret from her husband for over 2 years. She had every chance to stop this affair, yet she didn’t.

Do you think it’s the risk she loved, the tension of the forbidden act, or was it this deep sighted longing for submission?

Damien, also spelled as Damian, is a striking title derived from the Greek Damianos. Stemming from the word daman, Damien means “to tame, subdue.” Damien may also be linked to Damia, an epithet given to the Greek goddess of the harvest, Demeter. Damien replaces the a with an e, creating a subtle French flair like Lucien and Julien. Damien and Damian are particularly popular throughout Christian communities in Europe, most likely because of the martyred Saint Damian. If you’d like a name embued with strength and stability, Damien is a solid choice.

Damien is real to me. I received feedback that said that it was impossible to have any sympathetic feeling for Damien. That is the reason I added a scene in Devil boy II, after I finished the book.

Character: Damien (Master)
Made me feel: Anger, Contempt
Memorability: Low
Story presence: 5%

The example, though seemingly crystal clear to the writer, lacks the necessary clarity for the average reader, thus failing to effectively illustrate the intended point. While it may seem like a small portion, comprising only 5% of the book, I believe that this section is arguably the most crucial and significant part of the entire book.

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BEHIND THE SCENES

Alex

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BEHIND THE SCENES

Master Ricardo

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BEHIND THE SCENES

Confession

Finally

I initially conceived of this book as a diary. Before writing other parts, I wrote most of her diary chapters. Yet it took 29.632 words to get to the diary part of her story.

But First

First, we have to deal with the cage under the bed. Sylvia is confused. She doesn’t understand why she gets excited in her cage, where she can only hear her partners are making love.

spoiler alert

We transition into a phase where Sylvia comes to accept that both lovers love her. But she cannot. The past is weighing heavily on her. First there are confessions to to be made.

The function of confession

Confessing can be really good for the soul because it helps you let go of heavy feelings. Think of it like cleaning out a cluttered room in your mind. When you admit your mistakes or share your hidden feelings, you often feel a huge weight lift off your shoulders. This can lead to:

• Emotional Relief: Just like talking to a friend about something that’s been bothering you, confessing can help you release feelings of guilt or shame.
• Healing and Growth: By acknowledging what went wrong, you open the door to forgiving yourself and learning from the experience, which can help you grow as a person.
• Better Relationships: Being honest about your actions can also help repair trust with others, strengthening your relationships and becoming more genuine.
• Inner Peace: Ultimately, confessing can bring you a sense of relief and inner peace, as you no longer have to carry the burden of your secrets.

In simple terms, when you confess, you’re taking a step toward healing, making it easier to move forward with a lighter heart and a clearer mind. And that is why Koen “forces” Sylvia to read her diary out loud.

On the stories online site, I had to make do with showing she was reading from her diary by using a bold font. On Krabbels she is writing in her own handwriting (Google Fonts Borel). I am very happy with it. This is Sylvia’s handwriting.

Coming out

Coming out is one of the most terrifying experiences in your young life. You risk losing the acceptance and support of those closest to you, which can feel like a deep personal loss. It forces you to face the possibility of discrimination or rejection from society, leaving you vulnerable to judgment and isolation. Additionally, it means confronting your own fears and insecurities about who you are, which can be an emotionally overwhelming experience.

I wrote this later because I want the reader to understand how deeply rooted Koen’s anxieties are.

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BEHIND THE SCENES

Young and Stupid

This is a real confession

Not much to add to the text, really. She goes on holiday with one goal and one goal only. And claims still to love Koen. To make it worse, she thinks she is helping him with losing her virginity to a strange man.

Selfish reasons

Her reasons are not to help Koen getting over his anxiety to tear her maidenhead. She wants to know if her submissive feelings are real with another man. She wants to know if this is just Koen, or that she can come by being humiliated by any man.

Despite the seemingly lighthearted tone of her younger diary entries, we learn that the experiences she recorded have actually weighed heavily upon her ever since.

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BEHIND THE SCENES

The Lumious Altar

I have no idea what the term is within the community for a walk over burning candles. I have seen it once or twice in porn, but never got a name for it. So I made up one. The Lumious Altar. Jutta tries to sell it to Koen that is nothing much to extinguish the flame with your vagina or your breast. I think she knows these bandages are there for a reason on Sylvia’s body.

Until now, you have seen not so much punishment on Sylvia, but fairly strict enforcement of rules on Jutta.

Maybe he’s stricter with Jutta because she is now more important to him?

Jutta feels that if their complex relationship is to succeed, Koen has not only to understand, but to support his ex-wife’s behaviour. A free rein is not only a practical necessity; she cannot be the mistress of this masochist without it. It’s more. If she can understand the wants and needs of Sylvia, so does Koen. And if he can’t, she will learn him.

Even if she has to challenge him to do so, at her own expense.

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BEHIND THE SCENES

Going home and see the kids

I really like how this chapter turned out

Going home and find your house, well, not what you expected or hoped to see. That is what Koen and Sylvia felt when they returned to their farmhouse. But it was all new for Jutta and a metaphor for new beginnings. I think the book first mentions the age difference. And working all day with little rest will show the results of that difference, I can assure you.

Natascha

Natascha is not a bitch. She is a she-wolf.

love it.

She has over a hundred allergies; I think. I am one of them.

I still have to chuckle about it

Sandor

The long-lost son is coming back. The tough navvy officer, with his carefree attitude and commanding presence, changes the atmosphere instantly. He is concerned about the health of his mother, but after she has confirmed all this is consensual, he is at ease with it. Besides:

” Even before our puberty, Peter and I knew our parents were into rough sex. You were quite conspicuous about it, you know?”

Natasha and Peter

Natasha and Peter respond to the BDSM-revelation in the way that many readers on the platform stories online do. On one hand, they are curious enough to open the book (and probably read it as well), on the other hand they feel guilty about that and down vote the appreciation score with ‘ a. You call this a story‘. And unlike many authors on the platform are bothered by this, I kind of shrug about it. I don’t blame them. Is this is not your thing, it is very hard to understand. And if your dick gets hard reading, well, it makes it even more confusing in your head.

Some chapters take days, even weeks to write. This one wrote itself in an hour. Perhaps an hour and a half…

BEHIND THE SCENES

Chapter 5

This chapter is all about the function of a safeword within their relationship. Whether it is the Master who is using the safeword to set boundaries for himself, or it’s about the use of the safeword to separate consent and abuse. On this page, I explain the significance of the safeword for all of you who are not familiar with the do’s and don’ts about the use of them in the community.

A safeword is a crucial tool in power exchange dynamics, particularly within BDSM and other consensual authority-based relationships. It serves as a clear, unambiguous signal that overrides any ongoing scene, dynamic, or activity, ensuring the safety and well-being of all parties involved.

Significance of a Safeword in Power Exchange

1. Consent & Control
   • While power exchange often involves one partner assuming a dominant role and the other a submissive role, consent remains paramount.
   • A safeword allows the submissive partner (or any participant) to instantly revoke consent if they reach a physical or emotional limit.
2. Differentiating Play from Reality
   • Many BDSM scenes involve roleplay, including resistance, begging, or saying “no” as part of the dynamic.
   • A safeword provides a clear and undeniable stop signal that is separate from in-scene dialogue, preventing misunderstandings.
3. Psychological & Emotional Safety
   • Even in well-negotiated scenes, emotions can shift unexpectedly. A safeword gives participants a way to halt activities before discomfort escalates into harm.
   • It fosters trust, as both partners know they can stop at any time without judgment.
4. Physical Safety
   • Power exchange often involves activities that may push physical boundaries (such as bondage, impact play, or sensory deprivation).
   • A safeword ensures that if someone experiences pain beyond their tolerance, medical distress, or unexpected discomfort, they can immediately signal a stop.

Common Safeword Systems

• Unique Words – Many people choose a distinct word (e.g., “Pineapple” or “Red Balloon”) to avoid confusion with in-scene language.
• Traffic Light System (the system Koen is using):
  • Green – “I’m good, keep going.”
  • Yellow – “Slow down, check in, adjust.”
  • Red – “Stop immediately.”
• Non-Verbal Safewords – In cases where a person may be gagged or unable to speak, pre-agreed hand signals or a dropped object (like a ball) serve as non-verbal safewords (as discussed in “Good Girl”).

The Power of a Safeword in Trust-Building

Far from being a weakness, a safeword enhances power exchange by proving that control is not about coercion but about mutual respect and communication. Knowing that a safeword will be honoured deepens trust, allowing participants to explore power dynamics more freely, safely, and responsibly.

And that, my friends, was exactly the problem Koen was having in this chapter. He may have exceeded his limits to prove his point.

BEHIND THE SCENES

Chapter 5

At the start of this chapter, Sylvia’s divorce papers are delivered. Second hand. To realise the impact of this delivery, let’s have a closer look, shall we?

Title: “Boundaries”
A one-act scene in a modern restaurant

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Characters:

• ELENA – A confident, independent woman in her early 30s. She values trust and privacy.
• JASON – Her date, mid-30s, charming but a little entitled, with a tendency to push boundaries.

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(Lights up. A cozy restaurant, softly lit. A half-empty wine glass sits in front of ELENA, who is mid-conversation, laughing slightly. JASON sits across from her, reaching casually for her phone on the table.)

JASON (grinning)
Hey, let’s see what you’ve got in here.

(Before ELENA can react, he picks up her phone and starts flipping through it.)

ELENA (startled)
Jason—wait, what are you doing?

JASON (chuckling, scrolling)
Relax, just checking out your photos. Oh, who’s this guy?

(ELENA’s face shifts from surprise to disbelief. She blinks, processing.)

ELENA
Are you serious right now? Give me my phone.

JASON (teasing)
Why? Got something to hide?

ELENA (voice sharp, controlled)
That’s not the point. That’s my phone. My personal space.

(She reaches for it, but JASON holds it just out of reach, still scrolling.)

JASON (mock-innocent)
Oh, come on, Elena. We’re on a date. What’s the big deal?

(A beat. ELENA exhales, a slow shake of her head. Her expression changes—not just irritation, but something deeper.)

ELENA
The big deal? Jason, I don’t even let my best friend go through my phone. And you just took it—without asking—like it’s yours to inspect.

(JASON hesitates, sensing the shift in her tone.)

JASON
I didn’t think—

ELENA (firm)
No, you didn’t. Do you know how many times I’ve had someone treat my privacy like it’s optional? Like I owe them access just because we’re sitting at the same table?

(Her voice tightens, frustration layered with something personal.)

ELENA
I’ve had exes do this. Question every text, every number. Assume I must be hiding something because I value my own space.

JASON (softer)
Elena, I wasn’t—

ELENA (interrupting)
Yes, you were. And that’s the problem.

(She extends her hand, steady, unyielding. A silent challenge.)

(A pause. JASON looks at her, then at the phone. Slowly, he sets it back on the table.)

JASON (quietly)
I’m sorry.

(ELENA studies him. A long beat. Then she picks up her phone and places it in her bag, out of reach.)

ELENA (calm, but firm)
Yeah. You are.

(A moment of silence. The air between them has shifted. The waiter approaches with the check, oblivious to the tension.)

BLACKOUT.

Sounds familiar? I bet it does. Imagine how it feels when someone is going through your mail, your phone, your post… And hands over your divorce papers!