Krabbels

Category: About Ugly Girl

All things loosely connected with the making of the the book Ugly Girl

  • How Zuzanna is changing

    How Zuzanna is changing

    Character Arc(s)

    A positive character arc is when a person in a story starts off with flaws, fears, or false beliefs holding them back, and by the end, they grow into a better version of themselves. They face challenges that force them to question their old ways, struggle with change, and eventually overcome their inner struggles. The key is that they earn their growth—they don’t just magically improve, but learn through hardship. By the end, they’ve shed their limiting mindset and embrace a healthier, happier way of living. It’s about transformation from the inside out. In this post we will find out how Zuzanna is changing throughout the story.

    From Ugly to Self-acceptance

    Let’s start with the very beginning, a very good place to start. The title of the book: Ugly Girl.

    With no disrespect to the lady in the picture, when Zuzanna looks in the mirror, she sees an ugly girl staring at her. When I look at this picture, I don’t see an ugly woman at all. I see those eyes looking straight through my soul. I see kindness in her face. 

    In this book, we will see her transformation from someone who considers herself ugly towards someone who has accepted what nature has given her? Finally, after all these years, she is like most people, not extremely pretty, nor ugly. Look around. The really pretty people you know are not more than a handful.

    A woman named Desire

    Her husband died eight years ago. Their sex life had not been so great to begin with, but at the end of Johan Lammen’s life, it was practically non-existent. And during the first years of being alone, Zuzanna had other things on her mind. She had resigned herself to become a sexless old spinster. 

    However, being around all these highly sexualised people around her, being chained to Sylvia in the most literal sense of the world, brought Desire back into her life. Perhaps a vibrator might have done the trick for her in the past, but no more. No more, baby, no more.

    I do not know at this point if Zuzanna will be into kink as well. But at least at the end of the book she understands – really understands – the attraction of it. In the beginning of the book, this girl is strictly vanilla, but at the end? I don’t know yet. She often complains at the beginning that her life is boring. Well, at the end of the book that boredom – adventures are for other people, not me – has vanished and is replaced with a feeling of being very much alive. 

    A better understanding of KINK

  • Separation between main character and protagonist

    Separation between main character and protagonist

    Two main character arcs

    In “Ugly Girl” there are two main characters and they are equally important in my story. Both have things they think they want and both have different things they actually need. Personally, I dislike very much the structure where character one, let’s call her Zuzanna, is telling the things that are happening from her perspective and the other, let’s call him Ciaran, from his point of view. Both are talking about I this, I that, I did so and so, I was angry, I was disappointed, etc. In romance books and thrillers the change in POV is often in the chapter’s title. Zuzanna in chapter 1, Ciaran in chapter 2, alternating through the plot of the story until they fuck their brains out in the ever satisfying climax of the story. In thrillers, I usually skip one of those POV’s, so I actually read half of the book. I find it confusing to identify with two characters. Those are essentially two books I’m reading, crammed into one.

    And yet, the learning curve of my two main characters is equally important. So after consulting my mentor the Internet, I think I found a solution for this: to separate the protagonist from the main character.  

    Famous example

    Protagonist

    • The protagonist is the central figure who drives the plot forward.
    • The story is about their goals, actions, and conflicts.
    • They usually face the main challenge or antagonist.

    Main Character

    • The main character is the character through whose eyes we experience the story.
    • They may or may not be the protagonist.
    • The main character is often the narrator or the emotional anchor for the reader.

    In Sherlock Holmes stories:

    • Sherlock Holmes is the protagonist.
      • He solves the crimes.
      • The plot revolves around his brilliance, his deductions, and his actions.
      • He drives the story forward.
    • Dr. John Watson is often the main character.
      • He is usually the narrator.
      • The reader sees the events unfold through his perspective.
      • He provides the emotional lens—his awe, confusion, and admiration for Holmes shape how we perceive Holmes.

    Example:

    In The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson goes to Dartmoor ahead of Holmes and narrates what he observes. The story is still about Holmes solving the case—that makes Holmes the protagonist—but we experience most of the mystery through Watson’s perspective, making him the main character.

    Summary:

    Role

    Sherlock Holmes

    Dr. Watson

    Protagonist

    ✅ Yes

    ❌ No

    Main Character

    ❌ Usually not

    ✅ Usually yes

    What does it means for my story

    We see Ciaran through the eyes of the Ugly Girl, Zuzanna. No flipping around POVs and we see, and hopefully feel, the change that Ciaran is going through. Going through the pains of adolescence, making mistakes and learn from them, and finally… completing his arc somehow. And as he changes, we will see Zuzanna change as well. I hope it will work out the way I need it to.

  • Cover pictures

    Who is the Lady in Red?

     

    I do not know what her name is, but I know who took the pictures. His name is “thisismyurl“ and you can find his work is on Pixabay. In the introduction, he says: You’re free to use any of my images, if you’d like to let me know, I’d love to share a link to my social media when you do! 

    This is the picture I used
    2nd in the series
    3rd in the series
    and the last.

    This lady has travelled with me for a long time

    This photo series has always intrigued me. First, this is a very attractive young woman, of course, but it’s way more than that. The contrast between the first and the last photo begged to be used for a cover of my books. It won’t come as a surprise to you I love the first one, given my interest in kink.

    The photo I used for the cover of “Good Girl” and “Bad Girl” is the same. It’s the first one in this series. 

    On the first cover of Good Girl, you can see I did a few tricks in GIMP by putting a spotlight over her head from the upper left-hand corner. When I finished the covers of “Bad Girl” and “Ugly Girl” I decided to change the first cover to make it more in line with the other two. The Circle that symbolises the BDSM-logo is the size I cut the photo on the original cover. I was pleased with the end result. It makes the picture even more dramatic, and it is not so obvious I used the same picture for both covers. 

    The three dots in the BDSM-logo miraculously found their way in the model’s eye and her two armpits.  

    The last laugh is on you girl, after I saw the last photo in the series, there was no doubt in my mind that this was the ONE I had to use for the last cover.

  • Getting lost in the Blogposts

    I will be writing a lot of blogposts – I hope – and as these are all posted in chonological order, it may be hard to find different subjects.

    So I’ll post them all by topic on this page, to make finding them a little easier.

  • Spoiler Alert

    You will be the first to know!

    When I take you with me writing this book, the sheer number of potential spoilers is so overwhelming, I’ve avoided mentioning them altogether. 

    So if you don’t want to know the outcome of the plot, please come back after I have finished the book! You are with me in this creativity process, including all the mistakes I make. 

  • The Making Of UGLY GIRL

    A Trilogy

    I never intended to write a trilogy. And the title of the series is perhaps not the best one. “The Dutch Master” series refers, of course, to the Famous Dutch Masters like Frans Hals, Johannes Vermeer and Rembrandt van Rijn, but also to Koen de Groen. A Dutch BDSM-Master in the present time. 

    Good Girl is my first finish attempt ever. And I was quite pleased with the result. Outlining never was my thing, but Good Girl I did a bit of outlining before I started. I started many times and after 40.000 or 50.000 words, concluded that it was crap, and started with a new idea. Twice I wrote about 60.000 words in a Nanowrimo competition, but looking back at those… Well, let’s say it is true what they say about the more you write, the better you will be.

    Compared to Good Girl, I wrote Bad Girl in half of the time I needed for my first book. I knew there had to be flashbacks to parts of Sylvia-de Groen van Geelen sorid past, and I wrote those first. That was a lot of fun. I wrestled a while with how to integrate those flashbacks into the here and now. But I was pleased with the end result. Although it recived a luke warm welcome on Storiesonline, I still consider Bad Girl a far better book than it’s predecessor. 

    Ugly GirlI knew that in the third book, Ugly Girl, I needed to make more preparations. I actually started outlining this book. And it is supposed to become the best book in this series.  

    I hope. 

    I used AEON TIMELINE to map out all the actions in all the three books (224 up to now). And each event (as Aeon has named its actions) had a date when it happened, the participants in the event, The book(s) the event was described, the location where it happened, how old the characters were and the chapter in the book the event took place. 

    So this helped me to be consistant (well, as much as possible) because events overlap several books. 

    I would like you to join my journey, making Ugly Girl. Because it’s not about the Goal,…